I found the notebook I started when I was 19 the other day. I had been looking for some early morning reading material (who knew re-reading "Night" by Elie Wiesel isn't a great way to start your day), and in all honestly, my shelves are filled with long since abandoned journals from brief periods of time dating back to middle school. It's a humbling experience to read about periods of your life that you've long forgotten. There are names that seem important and conjure nothing in my current subconcious. Specifically, the journal I found details my first real (dysfunctional) relationship, my first band and that apparently, that i don't understand the film "Repo Man". And a lot more.
My connection to the person that wrote the journal is now negligible. She was a pink haired freshman just learning about life, the universe and everything. And she was fucking depressing. In the end, I'm glad she wrote it all down. And I'm glad she's found greener pastures.
One of the wisest people I've met once told me "It's funny how how the things that seemed the strongest fall apart so fast." I never realised how true it was until I reintroduced myself to a younger me.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I should have waited...
Today Mike passed along to me a file containing what he claimed to be the new Harry Potter book. I like Harry Potter alright, so I figured I'd save myself the wait and start reading now. I wish Mike had included a disclaimer with the file explaining that it isn't a text file of the novel per say, but instead, 396 pages created by a moron (I will explain) that photographed every page of the book and created a PDF document of it.
Now. Say you've acquired an advanced copy of Harry Potter and possess the desire to take an actual effort in leaking it to the rabid Harry Potter fanboys who are currently living their lives in fear of spoilers. Seriously. I saw a myspace bulletin a friend posted saying he's actually not going on the internet until the book is out. God, my friends possess far more self restraint than I.
I, for one, would consider keeping the pages flat enough to read, not washing the whole thing out with flash, learning to focus the camera, not keeping your fingers (his fingers gross me out too, for some reason) over the damn words on the page...and lastly, and the point of this rant...consider making it an elaborate practical joke by finding the biggest OH NOEZ SPOILERZ page in the damn thing and just laying your cock over it. AND THAT, FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU COULD WIN AT THE INTERNET.
Now. Say you've acquired an advanced copy of Harry Potter and possess the desire to take an actual effort in leaking it to the rabid Harry Potter fanboys who are currently living their lives in fear of spoilers. Seriously. I saw a myspace bulletin a friend posted saying he's actually not going on the internet until the book is out. God, my friends possess far more self restraint than I.
I, for one, would consider keeping the pages flat enough to read, not washing the whole thing out with flash, learning to focus the camera, not keeping your fingers (his fingers gross me out too, for some reason) over the damn words on the page...and lastly, and the point of this rant...consider making it an elaborate practical joke by finding the biggest OH NOEZ SPOILERZ page in the damn thing and just laying your cock over it. AND THAT, FRIENDS, IS HOW YOU COULD WIN AT THE INTERNET.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
New blog, same as the old blog
I've moved my writing here. And included highlights from it's previous incarnation.
After E3, my brain is essentially just a useless mass taking up space in my head. So, please keep in mind much of this writing is relatively old...but new content will come soon. Please enjoy these two videos of myself and others at E3 in the meantime:
The guys from Game Informer, Harmonix, Joystiq, myself and quite a few others play Rock Band:
I take on a Frag Doll in Guitar Hero 3:
Now...back to The Darkness.
After E3, my brain is essentially just a useless mass taking up space in my head. So, please keep in mind much of this writing is relatively old...but new content will come soon. Please enjoy these two videos of myself and others at E3 in the meantime:
The guys from Game Informer, Harmonix, Joystiq, myself and quite a few others play Rock Band:
I take on a Frag Doll in Guitar Hero 3:
Now...back to The Darkness.
New Earth and God
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/technology/technology.html?in_page_id=1965&in_article_id=450467
As an avid follower of news, I'm always surprised when a huge story breaks and NO ONE I KNOW MENTIONS IT. Embarrassingly enough, I didn't even know about this story till I watched a recent Colbert Report and then made it a point to google search NEW EARTH the next day. Interestingly, asides from unrelated hits and Wikipedia, NO American news sources came up and when searching Gliese 581 c, (the planet's actual name) only one, MSNBC, appeared. You know what? FUCK YOU, "NEWS". "Hey...so, we discovered the closest thing to another Earth hereby upping the odds of discovering extra-terrestrial life or similar civilizations or maybe just having somewhere to go when we inevitably destroy this planet or AT LEAST giving space scientists (like that term? I'm very technical) something to do for a whi...OH NO SHIT, PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO JAIL?" To be fair, i don't know if this story made it to the TV news because I don't watch the TV news because it's garbage.
How is this not the most exciting thing ever?! Sure, its 20 light years away and all we know is that the temperature is Earth-like and its bigger than Earth and if we lived there, an Earth year would equal 13 days and we'd see a GIANT sun and a planet (moon?) with rings when we looked to the sky and there MIGHT BE FUCKING DINOSAURS because we just don't know that there aren't BUT the sheer amount of discovering and possibilities that this allows is mentally staggering.
Not one person I am friends with, work with, overheard in public has mentioned this discovery. Until today when I brought it up to Fritz, who said the planet was too far and also mentioned there could be dinosaurs, which believe me, I have considered.
***** RANT BREAK ******
A non-sequitor on dinosaurs: I was browsing books on Amazon.com today because I wanted to buy a copy of God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens specifically because I want to read it on the bus in front of the 21904892 people who read the HOLY BIBLE on the bus EVERY DAY and I sincerely wish the cover font was larger. Plus I dig the subject material. Of course, there is a sub rant here about why people feel the need to read the Bible every day on the bus, which I comprehend but don't understand not being religious myself and with the benefit of being a biased observer.
***SUB RANT***
I sip my coffee and funny enough, I'm actually reading another book about religion (The Master and Margarita, about the Devil coming to Moscow) and think "You know, I've read the Bible. The stories are very interesting, when compacted into Hollywood movies and Simpsons episodes and children's bibles with fancy pictures but the actual Bible is BORING. AND I HAVE LISTENED TO STEPHEN HAWKING READ HIS BOOKS ON TAPE AND ENJOYED IT. AND NOW THE MAN ACROSS FROM ME IS MOUTHING ALL THE WORDS TO *THE BIBLE* BECAUSE APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE NEVER GET PAST THE "READING SILENTLY IN YOUR HEAD" CLASS THE REST OF US HAD IN *GRADE SCHOOL*. " Now I've had to resort to asterisks because I've already used CAPS LOCK to show how annoyed I am and the restraints of text don't allow me to show you how angry and loud it is increasingly getting in my brain. It makes me want to read Greek Mythology on the bus in the morning. And take it very seriously, maybe pass out pamphlets informing people of the powers of Zeus, like the Korean lady on the 603 who passes out flyers about Jesus in languages I can't read to the mainly Hispanic bus riders and who wears a vest that says something like "Please don't go to hell". I really do find myself becoming more and more "anti-religious" as I age, whereas once, though I've always had disdain for it, it was merely just "something for everyone else, but not me". That said, I still feel comfortable calling myself a Unitarian Universalist should I need to put labels on things and I still feel comfortable calling myself an athiest rather than an agnostic . I'm certain there isn't a god although I still pray to saints when I can't find my keys (Please Saint Anthony come around, something's lost and can't be found) out of engrained childhood habit. Luckily, according to standard debate rules, burden of proof falls on the affirmative or those who are trying to prove that something exists and to counter with "Prove that god does not exist" is an Appeal to Ignorance. Yes, I *was* president of the debate team, thanks. Oh god, I don't even know how to stop talking about this.
SO
***Back to Dinosaurs***
While I was looking for my book on Amazon I saw another book plugged on the Daily Show or Colbert called The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden which I think is a fantastic idea (I'm in fact, calling my mother right now so she'll buy it for my younger brother) despite saying nix video games...granted, I spend too much time at my consoles and not eonoough (seriously, I just made that spelling error) time building tree forts and making secret codes nowadays and he is correct. But anyway, he said in the Amazon interview that his favorite dinosaur is a shark or a crocodile or something and I just felt that was a cop out and I consider neither to be "dinosaurs" and he might have well had said "A chicken". And somewhere in this paragraph I realised that 80% of my internal monologue revolves around how much other people annoy me, possibly. So back to
****NEW EARTH***
and my point, that I don't understand why people aren't flipping their lids over this. And a possible explanation? At a certain period in my life, and I think in the general public discourse, extra-terrestrial life was a fascinating realm of possibility, alien/space movies dominated and people cared what we were discovering on Mars. UFOs, Roswell, the X-Files, listening for ET contact on giant satellite dishes...amazing! Are people as a whole losing their fascination with the science of space or is this just a low point in a cycle of popular obsessions? Or do I just talk to the wrong people? I wonder if the more possible something becomes, the less appeal it has to the public imagination...
An excerpt I'd like to point out:
"Interestingly, Gliese 581c is so close to the Earth that if its putative inhabitants only had our level of technology, they could - just about - pick up some of our radio signals, such as the most powerful military transmitters. Quite what would happen if we for our part did receive a signal is unclear.
"There is a protocol, buried away in the United Nations," says Dr Shostak. "The President would be told first, after the signal was confirmed by other observatories. But we couldn't keep such a discovery secret."
It may be some time before we detect any such signals, but it is just possible that today we are closer than ever to finding life in the stars.
William Hill said it had shortened the odds on proving the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence from 1,000-1 to 100-1. "
100-1! And the U.N. is long since unprepared! And the President would be told first?! And they don't mean the president of the U.N., as the U.N. does not have a president but a secretary general, none of which my broadcast journalism classmates could name 4 years ago.
At any rate, i would have assumed that this discovery would have spawned a renewed public interest in space travel and the future and science and instead, it seems to have already been swept into the cobwebby annals of public memory where it can join Absolute Zero in the "Things we know about but can't do anything practical with yet" section where I like to browse and imagine in my time off from thinking about how much I can't stand people who use the wrong sides of escalators and moving sidewalks or talk loudly on their phone on public transportation.
So I finished God is Not Great yesterday after about a week of getting dirty looks (and not the good kind!) while reading it in public...and it's extremely well written (slightly dense in parts, Hitchens isn't one to dumb it down) with well structured arguments that, while I was aware of the basic ideas of, I hadn't heard so eloquently put before. He also has an incredibly acid tongue and I was pleased to note we share many of the same favorite philosophers...Anyway, I consider it a must read and thanks to Hustler interviewing him next week, the features editor there is having him sign my copy of the book which I am very excited about.
However, Hitchens supports the war in Iraq, and whether or not he feels secular humanism is an acceptable reason for us to be there, I don't, and I was fairly disappointed to discover that he does. Interestingly enough, he doesn't mention this in the book, but at the end, starts to talk about current affairs and 9/11 and Islam. His remarks about Islam are disparaging enough (although no faith escapes his harsh criticism in the book) but he makes an interesting point, that, as the newest of the "big 3", Islam has not had to go through the period of reformation Judaism and Christianity have and is therefore the most backwards. Fair enough. But it feels like Hitchen's is skirting the larger issue of his opinion on the war in the Middle East which I attribute to one of two things.
1. He doesn't want to alienate his largely leftist audience right at the end of the book after they've agreed with him the whole way through.
2. He felt it was subtopical and would detract from the main focus of the book.
Frankly, I think it's a combination of both, but I have no doubt in my mind he thought about his audience and decided it was best to let them discover his current political leanings elsewhere. Not to say he supports the administration, because it's apparent that he doesn't, but..do I sense..maybe a bit of negative utiliarianism here (my high school boyfriend did say that *I* was the most utilitarian person he'd ever met, and I sense an awesome rant about utilitarianism and social contract theory and blah blah blah coming on but I'll spare you in favor of torturing Brian, Fritz or Brett with it later) where rather than trying to create the greatest good in society, you try to prevent the most harm.
Anyway, it's a fabulous novel and I really hope more of my friends will read it. My mom wants to borrow my copy, and I may buy one for my dad, for whom I think it could do a lot of good (Guess what? No more having to go to church twice a year because thats all your religion requires of you not to end up in hell!).
As an avid follower of news, I'm always surprised when a huge story breaks and NO ONE I KNOW MENTIONS IT. Embarrassingly enough, I didn't even know about this story till I watched a recent Colbert Report and then made it a point to google search NEW EARTH the next day. Interestingly, asides from unrelated hits and Wikipedia, NO American news sources came up and when searching Gliese 581 c, (the planet's actual name) only one, MSNBC, appeared. You know what? FUCK YOU, "NEWS". "Hey...so, we discovered the closest thing to another Earth hereby upping the odds of discovering extra-terrestrial life or similar civilizations or maybe just having somewhere to go when we inevitably destroy this planet or AT LEAST giving space scientists (like that term? I'm very technical) something to do for a whi...OH NO SHIT, PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO JAIL?" To be fair, i don't know if this story made it to the TV news because I don't watch the TV news because it's garbage.
How is this not the most exciting thing ever?! Sure, its 20 light years away and all we know is that the temperature is Earth-like and its bigger than Earth and if we lived there, an Earth year would equal 13 days and we'd see a GIANT sun and a planet (moon?) with rings when we looked to the sky and there MIGHT BE FUCKING DINOSAURS because we just don't know that there aren't BUT the sheer amount of discovering and possibilities that this allows is mentally staggering.
Not one person I am friends with, work with, overheard in public has mentioned this discovery. Until today when I brought it up to Fritz, who said the planet was too far and also mentioned there could be dinosaurs, which believe me, I have considered.
***** RANT BREAK ******
A non-sequitor on dinosaurs: I was browsing books on Amazon.com today because I wanted to buy a copy of God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens specifically because I want to read it on the bus in front of the 21904892 people who read the HOLY BIBLE on the bus EVERY DAY and I sincerely wish the cover font was larger. Plus I dig the subject material. Of course, there is a sub rant here about why people feel the need to read the Bible every day on the bus, which I comprehend but don't understand not being religious myself and with the benefit of being a biased observer.
***SUB RANT***
I sip my coffee and funny enough, I'm actually reading another book about religion (The Master and Margarita, about the Devil coming to Moscow) and think "You know, I've read the Bible. The stories are very interesting, when compacted into Hollywood movies and Simpsons episodes and children's bibles with fancy pictures but the actual Bible is BORING. AND I HAVE LISTENED TO STEPHEN HAWKING READ HIS BOOKS ON TAPE AND ENJOYED IT. AND NOW THE MAN ACROSS FROM ME IS MOUTHING ALL THE WORDS TO *THE BIBLE* BECAUSE APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE NEVER GET PAST THE "READING SILENTLY IN YOUR HEAD" CLASS THE REST OF US HAD IN *GRADE SCHOOL*. " Now I've had to resort to asterisks because I've already used CAPS LOCK to show how annoyed I am and the restraints of text don't allow me to show you how angry and loud it is increasingly getting in my brain. It makes me want to read Greek Mythology on the bus in the morning. And take it very seriously, maybe pass out pamphlets informing people of the powers of Zeus, like the Korean lady on the 603 who passes out flyers about Jesus in languages I can't read to the mainly Hispanic bus riders and who wears a vest that says something like "Please don't go to hell". I really do find myself becoming more and more "anti-religious" as I age, whereas once, though I've always had disdain for it, it was merely just "something for everyone else, but not me". That said, I still feel comfortable calling myself a Unitarian Universalist should I need to put labels on things and I still feel comfortable calling myself an athiest rather than an agnostic . I'm certain there isn't a god although I still pray to saints when I can't find my keys (Please Saint Anthony come around, something's lost and can't be found) out of engrained childhood habit. Luckily, according to standard debate rules, burden of proof falls on the affirmative or those who are trying to prove that something exists and to counter with "Prove that god does not exist" is an Appeal to Ignorance. Yes, I *was* president of the debate team, thanks. Oh god, I don't even know how to stop talking about this.
SO
***Back to Dinosaurs***
While I was looking for my book on Amazon I saw another book plugged on the Daily Show or Colbert called The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden which I think is a fantastic idea (I'm in fact, calling my mother right now so she'll buy it for my younger brother) despite saying nix video games...granted, I spend too much time at my consoles and not eonoough (seriously, I just made that spelling error) time building tree forts and making secret codes nowadays and he is correct. But anyway, he said in the Amazon interview that his favorite dinosaur is a shark or a crocodile or something and I just felt that was a cop out and I consider neither to be "dinosaurs" and he might have well had said "A chicken". And somewhere in this paragraph I realised that 80% of my internal monologue revolves around how much other people annoy me, possibly. So back to
****NEW EARTH***
and my point, that I don't understand why people aren't flipping their lids over this. And a possible explanation? At a certain period in my life, and I think in the general public discourse, extra-terrestrial life was a fascinating realm of possibility, alien/space movies dominated and people cared what we were discovering on Mars. UFOs, Roswell, the X-Files, listening for ET contact on giant satellite dishes...amazing! Are people as a whole losing their fascination with the science of space or is this just a low point in a cycle of popular obsessions? Or do I just talk to the wrong people? I wonder if the more possible something becomes, the less appeal it has to the public imagination...
An excerpt I'd like to point out:
"Interestingly, Gliese 581c is so close to the Earth that if its putative inhabitants only had our level of technology, they could - just about - pick up some of our radio signals, such as the most powerful military transmitters. Quite what would happen if we for our part did receive a signal is unclear.
"There is a protocol, buried away in the United Nations," says Dr Shostak. "The President would be told first, after the signal was confirmed by other observatories. But we couldn't keep such a discovery secret."
It may be some time before we detect any such signals, but it is just possible that today we are closer than ever to finding life in the stars.
William Hill said it had shortened the odds on proving the existence of extraterrestrial intelligence from 1,000-1 to 100-1. "
100-1! And the U.N. is long since unprepared! And the President would be told first?! And they don't mean the president of the U.N., as the U.N. does not have a president but a secretary general, none of which my broadcast journalism classmates could name 4 years ago.
At any rate, i would have assumed that this discovery would have spawned a renewed public interest in space travel and the future and science and instead, it seems to have already been swept into the cobwebby annals of public memory where it can join Absolute Zero in the "Things we know about but can't do anything practical with yet" section where I like to browse and imagine in my time off from thinking about how much I can't stand people who use the wrong sides of escalators and moving sidewalks or talk loudly on their phone on public transportation.
So I finished God is Not Great yesterday after about a week of getting dirty looks (and not the good kind!) while reading it in public...and it's extremely well written (slightly dense in parts, Hitchens isn't one to dumb it down) with well structured arguments that, while I was aware of the basic ideas of, I hadn't heard so eloquently put before. He also has an incredibly acid tongue and I was pleased to note we share many of the same favorite philosophers...Anyway, I consider it a must read and thanks to Hustler interviewing him next week, the features editor there is having him sign my copy of the book which I am very excited about.
However, Hitchens supports the war in Iraq, and whether or not he feels secular humanism is an acceptable reason for us to be there, I don't, and I was fairly disappointed to discover that he does. Interestingly enough, he doesn't mention this in the book, but at the end, starts to talk about current affairs and 9/11 and Islam. His remarks about Islam are disparaging enough (although no faith escapes his harsh criticism in the book) but he makes an interesting point, that, as the newest of the "big 3", Islam has not had to go through the period of reformation Judaism and Christianity have and is therefore the most backwards. Fair enough. But it feels like Hitchen's is skirting the larger issue of his opinion on the war in the Middle East which I attribute to one of two things.
1. He doesn't want to alienate his largely leftist audience right at the end of the book after they've agreed with him the whole way through.
2. He felt it was subtopical and would detract from the main focus of the book.
Frankly, I think it's a combination of both, but I have no doubt in my mind he thought about his audience and decided it was best to let them discover his current political leanings elsewhere. Not to say he supports the administration, because it's apparent that he doesn't, but..do I sense..maybe a bit of negative utiliarianism here (my high school boyfriend did say that *I* was the most utilitarian person he'd ever met, and I sense an awesome rant about utilitarianism and social contract theory and blah blah blah coming on but I'll spare you in favor of torturing Brian, Fritz or Brett with it later) where rather than trying to create the greatest good in society, you try to prevent the most harm.
Anyway, it's a fabulous novel and I really hope more of my friends will read it. My mom wants to borrow my copy, and I may buy one for my dad, for whom I think it could do a lot of good (Guess what? No more having to go to church twice a year because thats all your religion requires of you not to end up in hell!).
quotes
(When a Man Loves a Woman)
- is that the Kenny G version of this song?
-That's Michael Bolton, jackass.
*pause*
-thanks for calling me out on a MICHAEL BOLTON REFERENCE
-It's hot. if you had a threesome with the Xbox ...would it burn you?
-I had sex with my Xbox once...and it burned me
-what?
-Next day it was like "lets just be friends".....it sent me a friend request.
-smell this, what does it smell like?
-weed?
-a kind of fruit? pineapple?
-close, it's blueberry.
*pause*
-those aren't even close at all...
-my dad almost got arrested for a DUI the other day
-what happened?
-...he was drunk and driving.
*outside miX, Las Vegas*
*white dude, spiky hair*
-"Hey, fag. Where you at, bitch? Yo it's like (stops to count us) 4 people and we're in. You fags better get down here, bitch. We should be professional partiers. How do we do we do that, bitch? I'm in it to win it!"
guns shot this week:
Glock
9 mm
short barrel shot gun
sniper rifle
We came up with a great Deal or No Deal related game that involves trying to touch Howie Mandell...its like an "aggressive cat is aggressive, defensive cat is defensive thing" but defensive cat is Howie Mandell.
-Aw you have faith in my dolby digital output abilities....
-yeah..thats what friends are for!
-did brett just hit puberty in the middle of the song?
*La Brea Tar Pits*
woooly mammoth 1: I can totally make it in and out. I'll be fine...
wooly mammoth 2: SERIOUSLY, PEDRO YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO IT. PHYLLIS HASN'T EVEN TOTALLY SUNK YET, YOU CAN'T GO IN THE TAR PITS.
PHYLLIS: ITS A TRAAAAAAAAAP
********
- he's obviously not party trained
****
- is that the Kenny G version of this song?
-That's Michael Bolton, jackass.
*pause*
-thanks for calling me out on a MICHAEL BOLTON REFERENCE
-It's hot. if you had a threesome with the Xbox ...would it burn you?
-I had sex with my Xbox once...and it burned me
-what?
-Next day it was like "lets just be friends".....it sent me a friend request.
-smell this, what does it smell like?
-weed?
-a kind of fruit? pineapple?
-close, it's blueberry.
*pause*
-those aren't even close at all...
-my dad almost got arrested for a DUI the other day
-what happened?
-...he was drunk and driving.
*outside miX, Las Vegas*
*white dude, spiky hair*
-"Hey, fag. Where you at, bitch? Yo it's like (stops to count us) 4 people and we're in. You fags better get down here, bitch. We should be professional partiers. How do we do we do that, bitch? I'm in it to win it!"
guns shot this week:
Glock
9 mm
short barrel shot gun
sniper rifle
We came up with a great Deal or No Deal related game that involves trying to touch Howie Mandell...its like an "aggressive cat is aggressive, defensive cat is defensive thing" but defensive cat is Howie Mandell.
-Aw you have faith in my dolby digital output abilities....
-yeah..thats what friends are for!
-did brett just hit puberty in the middle of the song?
*La Brea Tar Pits*
woooly mammoth 1: I can totally make it in and out. I'll be fine...
wooly mammoth 2: SERIOUSLY, PEDRO YOU AREN'T GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO IT. PHYLLIS HASN'T EVEN TOTALLY SUNK YET, YOU CAN'T GO IN THE TAR PITS.
PHYLLIS: ITS A TRAAAAAAAAAP
********
- he's obviously not party trained
****
Future Mutants
FUTURE MUTANTS! Now with proper-ish citation!
That being: my blog.
Or rather, the half coherent rants ripped straight from the half coherent jottings in my little black notebook. Funny story....
For those of you who don't know, this is my partner in life and crime....
this ----> http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=114722&MyToken=d7e330da-fffb-4ffb-8b63-10f82c44d7ac
(snd seriously I am well aware I am the last person on the internet or just myspace to figure out how to make a proper link with html, so screw off)
ANYWAY
this weekend, Mr. Booth and I went on our usual shopping escapades..."Home Depot? Oooooh, are we getting a new Mexican?" and in the course of our discussion I learned/created several new pieces of information :
1. 60 comes after 48 and 72 comes after 60. Oh.
2. DID YOU KNOW? In the future (1000 years), there will be two types of people. The elite, through years of refined breeding and a good mix of genes, will be tall, smart and good looking. On the flip side, everyone else will be ugly mutant sub-humans. This is according to Brett, who read a study. Frankly, I just can't wait to ask candidates for inevitable spawn i will end up producing someday in the future "Honey, do you think our children will be genetically superior or do you think your DNA is gonna slide my future children slightly into the horrible circus freak side of things?". And we would laugh and laugh because he'd know any circus freak child is BOUND to be my fault.
OKAY, so here is the full article. I'm going to share highlights.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6057734.stm
"The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures."
I dont know about you, but I prefer most of my sentences to have the phrase "ugly, squat goblin-like creatures" in them and intend to wear this out like I did the "Hit U Wit It" Sidekick expression. Get ready for it.
Also watch me get emo...
"Social skills, such as communicating and interacting with others, could be lost, along with emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect. People would become less able to care for others, or perform in teams."
Wait for it...wait for it....Isn't love dead already?
Okay, there it was.
All I'm saying...is breed carefully. I don't want my perfect Sylvan Elf like children to be forced to enslave your Morlock off spring.
3. I'm officially submitting "hangovered" and "drunkovered" as a real words.
4. The obvious show to be made after "The Biggest Loser" is the flip side anorexic version, where girls with eating disorders compete to see who can attain the ideal body weight first...WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS.
Okay thats all I have. Other than that, I filled 2 pages writing "please stop fucking talking to me, I hate when people talk to me, I am writing in this notebook so that maybe you will think I'm busy but instead you are not taking the hint and you are still talking me. go away go away go away go away..."
and on....
That being: my blog.
Or rather, the half coherent rants ripped straight from the half coherent jottings in my little black notebook. Funny story....
For those of you who don't know, this is my partner in life and crime....
this ----> http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=114722&MyToken=d7e330da-fffb-4ffb-8b63-10f82c44d7ac
(snd seriously I am well aware I am the last person on the internet or just myspace to figure out how to make a proper link with html, so screw off)
ANYWAY
this weekend, Mr. Booth and I went on our usual shopping escapades..."Home Depot? Oooooh, are we getting a new Mexican?" and in the course of our discussion I learned/created several new pieces of information :
1. 60 comes after 48 and 72 comes after 60. Oh.
2. DID YOU KNOW? In the future (1000 years), there will be two types of people. The elite, through years of refined breeding and a good mix of genes, will be tall, smart and good looking. On the flip side, everyone else will be ugly mutant sub-humans. This is according to Brett, who read a study. Frankly, I just can't wait to ask candidates for inevitable spawn i will end up producing someday in the future "Honey, do you think our children will be genetically superior or do you think your DNA is gonna slide my future children slightly into the horrible circus freak side of things?". And we would laugh and laugh because he'd know any circus freak child is BOUND to be my fault.
OKAY, so here is the full article. I'm going to share highlights.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/6057734.stm
"The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures."
I dont know about you, but I prefer most of my sentences to have the phrase "ugly, squat goblin-like creatures" in them and intend to wear this out like I did the "Hit U Wit It" Sidekick expression. Get ready for it.
Also watch me get emo...
"Social skills, such as communicating and interacting with others, could be lost, along with emotions such as love, sympathy, trust and respect. People would become less able to care for others, or perform in teams."
Wait for it...wait for it....Isn't love dead already?
Okay, there it was.
All I'm saying...is breed carefully. I don't want my perfect Sylvan Elf like children to be forced to enslave your Morlock off spring.
3. I'm officially submitting "hangovered" and "drunkovered" as a real words.
4. The obvious show to be made after "The Biggest Loser" is the flip side anorexic version, where girls with eating disorders compete to see who can attain the ideal body weight first...WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS.
Okay thats all I have. Other than that, I filled 2 pages writing "please stop fucking talking to me, I hate when people talk to me, I am writing in this notebook so that maybe you will think I'm busy but instead you are not taking the hint and you are still talking me. go away go away go away go away..."
and on....
A letter to Hustler
I spit fire like busta, damb that larry is a hustler/
Every page has good information, I even bring my mag with me on vacation/
One of the best is not the word, not even HEF's bitches is messin with Larry's birds/
And I've seen damb there every mag, but best believe hustler's always in my grocery bag/
Butt Man is cool if you like looking at ass all day, too many dicks as well, if you ask me their all gay/
I will always pick Hustler out of all the other's, Larry even got street cred with all the brother's/
I love hustler and all their chicks, I guess it's safe to say, larry has the magic stick/
By: THE ONE AND ONLY "GUTTA MAN"
I don't know if I can rap, but I would sure love to have BulletProof game for my 3 sons. At the moment, I am incarcerated so I couldn't buy it for them. So I thought I'd kick my rap and maybe I'd win. Thank you!
Every page has good information, I even bring my mag with me on vacation/
One of the best is not the word, not even HEF's bitches is messin with Larry's birds/
And I've seen damb there every mag, but best believe hustler's always in my grocery bag/
Butt Man is cool if you like looking at ass all day, too many dicks as well, if you ask me their all gay/
I will always pick Hustler out of all the other's, Larry even got street cred with all the brother's/
I love hustler and all their chicks, I guess it's safe to say, larry has the magic stick/
By: THE ONE AND ONLY "GUTTA MAN"
I don't know if I can rap, but I would sure love to have BulletProof game for my 3 sons. At the moment, I am incarcerated so I couldn't buy it for them. So I thought I'd kick my rap and maybe I'd win. Thank you!
Milk prices and imaginary ponies
Milk Prices and the Land of Imaginary Ponies
Where Caroline and I go on a voyage of discovery to tell you why your gallon of milk costs more than your gallon of gasoline and how that relates to ponies. Clearly, no link between milk and ponies will actually be found.
Okay.
Chapter One
Milk
I don't really drink milk, which is why I was surprised when Caroline informed me that a gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gasoline. My initial theory was that milk sales might be in decline due to the masses of incredibly stupid parents that would rather a liter of cola for their kids than a gallon of milk. Even the most anti-milk scientist who claims milk isn't as good for you as they say and whatnot, even HE or SHE would agree that drinking milk is healthier than drinking soda. Go ahead, look that up, its gotta be fucking true or or or...OH COME ON. Well, the theory kind of falls apart faster than trickle down economics (ba-dum ching!) at any rate.
So...Milk is more expensive than gas. Well, are we just going to sit here on our asses or are we going to drive milk prices down? Brian came up with the plan to have a BOYCOTT MILK day...but it looks like we're going to have to do what this country does best...invade the dairy producing states and run them efficiently, thereby securing cheap milk for the whole country! AWESOME. We call it Operation Lactic Action! CLEARLY if we're in a tizzy about gas costs and milk costs more per gallon than gas and is very widely used..we must be in a tizzy about milk costs and we MUST TAKE ACTION!
then somehow...ponies came up. and the revolution failed.
caroline: you cannot milk a pony
me: bullshit, if a baby pony can feed off a mommy pony, you must be able to milk a pony and thats pure logic
caroline: ponies do not produce milk because they are too young, you have to wait until the pony becomes a horse.
me: ponys arent baby horses silly!, they are just tiny horse like creatures that live in a magical world and sometimes they have wings, didnt you have my little ponies as a kid?
caroline: MY little ponies did not need milking because they were plastic
me: MY little ponies are just based off real magical ponies
caroline: MAGICAL PONIES DO NOT LACTATE
me :look. answer my questions. did you have a pony as a kid? did you want a pony as a kid?
caroline: I WANTED a pony but i did not GET one, you were obviously pampered
me: why did your parents NOT buy you a pony? because they are magical and dont exist duh. i never wanted a pony nor was I allowed to have my little ponies
caroline: you're so fucked up
me: my mom got me the dromedary my little pony. who the fuck wants the dromedary? i think thats the reason for all the problems in my life. every other little girl got a pretty my little pony with wings and manes and shit. mine had a fucking hump and looked like a boy
caroline: you don't believe in unicorns do you?
me: of course i do. they dig for pomegranites.
caroline: also the dromedary was a man my little pony
me: I KNOW
caroline: i thought you said you didn't and that's why you were fucked
me: i got the boy pony and STFU if you dont want to pay my therapy billz. no i was fucked up because my mom bought me the shitty boy pony. I NEVER GOT A BARBIE. I GOT THAT TOMBOY SLUT MIDGE
caroline: i had pots and pans...fu
me: i had "imagination" pots and pants....pans....hHAHAHHAHA....imagination pants
caroline: panthill
me: PANTHILL!
Where Caroline and I go on a voyage of discovery to tell you why your gallon of milk costs more than your gallon of gasoline and how that relates to ponies. Clearly, no link between milk and ponies will actually be found.
Okay.
Chapter One
Milk
I don't really drink milk, which is why I was surprised when Caroline informed me that a gallon of milk costs more than a gallon of gasoline. My initial theory was that milk sales might be in decline due to the masses of incredibly stupid parents that would rather a liter of cola for their kids than a gallon of milk. Even the most anti-milk scientist who claims milk isn't as good for you as they say and whatnot, even HE or SHE would agree that drinking milk is healthier than drinking soda. Go ahead, look that up, its gotta be fucking true or or or...OH COME ON. Well, the theory kind of falls apart faster than trickle down economics (ba-dum ching!) at any rate.
So...Milk is more expensive than gas. Well, are we just going to sit here on our asses or are we going to drive milk prices down? Brian came up with the plan to have a BOYCOTT MILK day...but it looks like we're going to have to do what this country does best...invade the dairy producing states and run them efficiently, thereby securing cheap milk for the whole country! AWESOME. We call it Operation Lactic Action! CLEARLY if we're in a tizzy about gas costs and milk costs more per gallon than gas and is very widely used..we must be in a tizzy about milk costs and we MUST TAKE ACTION!
then somehow...ponies came up. and the revolution failed.
caroline: you cannot milk a pony
me: bullshit, if a baby pony can feed off a mommy pony, you must be able to milk a pony and thats pure logic
caroline: ponies do not produce milk because they are too young, you have to wait until the pony becomes a horse.
me: ponys arent baby horses silly!, they are just tiny horse like creatures that live in a magical world and sometimes they have wings, didnt you have my little ponies as a kid?
caroline: MY little ponies did not need milking because they were plastic
me: MY little ponies are just based off real magical ponies
caroline: MAGICAL PONIES DO NOT LACTATE
me :look. answer my questions. did you have a pony as a kid? did you want a pony as a kid?
caroline: I WANTED a pony but i did not GET one, you were obviously pampered
me: why did your parents NOT buy you a pony? because they are magical and dont exist duh. i never wanted a pony nor was I allowed to have my little ponies
caroline: you're so fucked up
me: my mom got me the dromedary my little pony. who the fuck wants the dromedary? i think thats the reason for all the problems in my life. every other little girl got a pretty my little pony with wings and manes and shit. mine had a fucking hump and looked like a boy
caroline: you don't believe in unicorns do you?
me: of course i do. they dig for pomegranites.
caroline: also the dromedary was a man my little pony
me: I KNOW
caroline: i thought you said you didn't and that's why you were fucked
me: i got the boy pony and STFU if you dont want to pay my therapy billz. no i was fucked up because my mom bought me the shitty boy pony. I NEVER GOT A BARBIE. I GOT THAT TOMBOY SLUT MIDGE
caroline: i had pots and pans...fu
me: i had "imagination" pots and pants....pans....hHAHAHHAHA....imagination pants
caroline: panthill
me: PANTHILL!
Good behavior days
For reference: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html
THAT is an actual contract devised by Travis Frey of Iowa dictating proper behavior for his wife, Ruth Frey, mother of Travis' two children and his wife of nine years.
Travis is accused of kidnapping and assaulting his wife by tying her to their bed with rope at least 3 times. I guess someone wasn't having a Good Behavior Day.
Funny thing is, these weren't the original charges brought against him. Travis turned himself in on charges of downloading child pornography, after which I assume his wife saw her chance and turned over the (unsigned) marriage contract to the cops and told them what happened.
Now, that might sound crazy to you. But as recently as the 1960's (brought to my attention by Erica) home ec classes were teaching little girls that this is how husbands should be ttreated:
A Woman's Guide to Being A Good Wife
1. Have dinner ready:
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself:
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
3. Clear away the clutter:
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers etc. and then run a duster over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
4. Be happy to see him:
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
5. Make the evening his:
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
6. Make him comfortable:
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
7. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.
8. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.
9. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
10. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's is. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
11. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products.
12. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
If you ask my grandmother, women aren't supposed to work (at least not after marriage), and the children of single mothers grow up to be drug addicts and criminals. I assume thats why she hired a nanny to take care of my father and his siblings, then shipped them off to boarding school as soon as they were old enough. My grandparents have never said "I love you" to their children either. But I digress.
Now, I'm not an expert here. I failed Home Ec. Apparently staples aren't a substitute for learning to sew. My manager at Bed Bath and Beyond also informed me that I wasn't "domesticated" at which point I informed her that "it was a bitch to housebreak me and I still piss on the rugs". She moved me to customer service and I haven't folded a towel since.
But I've grown up. Sure, I'd still rather sit in my warm laundry than fold it, but I can cook without setting the toaster oven on fire or melting a colander now and I'm fairly certain I know how to please a man without degrading myself. And I have so, so many questions for Mrs. Frey.
At what point did you realise your husband expected certain things from you? Was he different before you tied the knot? or had children? If not, why did you wait so long to tell the police? Maybe being tied up or subservient turns you on a little. That's ok. Did he make you do things in the contract anyway? How much money have you set aside for your children's inevitable therapy?
My only possible explanation is that Travis went crazypants later in the marriage, god knows why. Kind of like the husbands/boyfriends that have an apparently perfect marriage then one day slit their wife's throat, put her body in a freezer then put it through a woodchipper over a river, or skin her, file down her teeth, bury the bones in the back yard and throw her skull in a lake. Or choke their wife to death in front of their mistress, fuck the corpse, fill every orifice with flammable paste and torch her in the backyard. This is my biggest fear, the secret crazy.
Someone needs to teach these guys that divorce is not a dirty word. But Travis, oh Travis, you should have been honest from the get go. It's an amazing magical world we live in. Have you BEEN on the internet? Ah, well, I know you have, but you managed to stumble on the one taboo fetish of the e-world, child pornography. But if you looked...there is a world of fetishes out there, domination, subservience, people who like to dress up as animals and fuck, japanese girls getting raped by tentacles...surely, SURELY, you could have found a woman willing to sign your contract, and then, who am I to judge? I just have your (and her) happiness in mind.
But no, you chose a woman who...albiet, eventually, sold you out to the cops. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be entertaining lots of marriage proposals from desperate white trash ladies just aching to enjoy naked time with you when you get out of jail. I mean, IF you go to jail. Your lawyer seems optimistic.
"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.
Wait. Did you catch that? "I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything..." God, it's a shame Johnnie Cochran died.
Well Travis, I'm disappointed in you. But for my amusement, please agree to have the divorce proceedings on Divorce Court with Judge Mablean Ehpraim. You can join the vast community of baby daddies with "sex calenders", who say "you never know who a childs father is" and who father children with 14 year girls. Winners, all.
In the meantime, I wouldn't worry, I've heard prison inmates are especially kind to wife beaters and child porn enthousiasts.
THAT is an actual contract devised by Travis Frey of Iowa dictating proper behavior for his wife, Ruth Frey, mother of Travis' two children and his wife of nine years.
Travis is accused of kidnapping and assaulting his wife by tying her to their bed with rope at least 3 times. I guess someone wasn't having a Good Behavior Day.
Funny thing is, these weren't the original charges brought against him. Travis turned himself in on charges of downloading child pornography, after which I assume his wife saw her chance and turned over the (unsigned) marriage contract to the cops and told them what happened.
Now, that might sound crazy to you. But as recently as the 1960's (brought to my attention by Erica) home ec classes were teaching little girls that this is how husbands should be ttreated:
A Woman's Guide to Being A Good Wife
1. Have dinner ready:
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
2. Prepare yourself:
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
3. Clear away the clutter:
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers etc. and then run a duster over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
4. Be happy to see him:
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
5. Make the evening his:
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
6. Make him comfortable:
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
7. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.
8. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.
9. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.
10. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's is. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.
11. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products.
12. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.
If you ask my grandmother, women aren't supposed to work (at least not after marriage), and the children of single mothers grow up to be drug addicts and criminals. I assume thats why she hired a nanny to take care of my father and his siblings, then shipped them off to boarding school as soon as they were old enough. My grandparents have never said "I love you" to their children either. But I digress.
Now, I'm not an expert here. I failed Home Ec. Apparently staples aren't a substitute for learning to sew. My manager at Bed Bath and Beyond also informed me that I wasn't "domesticated" at which point I informed her that "it was a bitch to housebreak me and I still piss on the rugs". She moved me to customer service and I haven't folded a towel since.
But I've grown up. Sure, I'd still rather sit in my warm laundry than fold it, but I can cook without setting the toaster oven on fire or melting a colander now and I'm fairly certain I know how to please a man without degrading myself. And I have so, so many questions for Mrs. Frey.
At what point did you realise your husband expected certain things from you? Was he different before you tied the knot? or had children? If not, why did you wait so long to tell the police? Maybe being tied up or subservient turns you on a little. That's ok. Did he make you do things in the contract anyway? How much money have you set aside for your children's inevitable therapy?
My only possible explanation is that Travis went crazypants later in the marriage, god knows why. Kind of like the husbands/boyfriends that have an apparently perfect marriage then one day slit their wife's throat, put her body in a freezer then put it through a woodchipper over a river, or skin her, file down her teeth, bury the bones in the back yard and throw her skull in a lake. Or choke their wife to death in front of their mistress, fuck the corpse, fill every orifice with flammable paste and torch her in the backyard. This is my biggest fear, the secret crazy.
Someone needs to teach these guys that divorce is not a dirty word. But Travis, oh Travis, you should have been honest from the get go. It's an amazing magical world we live in. Have you BEEN on the internet? Ah, well, I know you have, but you managed to stumble on the one taboo fetish of the e-world, child pornography. But if you looked...there is a world of fetishes out there, domination, subservience, people who like to dress up as animals and fuck, japanese girls getting raped by tentacles...surely, SURELY, you could have found a woman willing to sign your contract, and then, who am I to judge? I just have your (and her) happiness in mind.
But no, you chose a woman who...albiet, eventually, sold you out to the cops. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be entertaining lots of marriage proposals from desperate white trash ladies just aching to enjoy naked time with you when you get out of jail. I mean, IF you go to jail. Your lawyer seems optimistic.
"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.
Wait. Did you catch that? "I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything..." God, it's a shame Johnnie Cochran died.
Well Travis, I'm disappointed in you. But for my amusement, please agree to have the divorce proceedings on Divorce Court with Judge Mablean Ehpraim. You can join the vast community of baby daddies with "sex calenders", who say "you never know who a childs father is" and who father children with 14 year girls. Winners, all.
In the meantime, I wouldn't worry, I've heard prison inmates are especially kind to wife beaters and child porn enthousiasts.
planet of the steadily evolving humanoids
last night i took a piece of paper and i wrote:
"I don't like apes. I think that maybe in millions of years they will be almost human, but not as mentally involved, a lower "caste" of society. Humans will probably use the sub-human used-to-be-apes for slave labor. "
this was scrawled over two pages of my notebook, a message to my roommates of something i could not properly express orally at the time.
It's just inevitable really, once they pass a certain threshhold of intelligence they won't used simply for human amusement and experimentation.. They will be sub-human workers valued for their opposable thumbs. Apes have stronger forearm muscles than we do. I'm sure there is a chance they would overthrow us, or at least have several bloody revolts. At this point humans will have evolved further as well, unless of course, we're de-evolving and the monkeys are really our replacements....
I thought of this theory after spending the afternoon watching nature documentaries about apes, and as I watched them cuddle their children and groom and take part in *almost* if not human behaviors I started to get very afraid...angry at the apes.
Of course, it was that same attitude that would later lead to our systematic enslavement and domination of future apes.
"God guys," I said to my roommates "I wonder what its like to sit around all day and be almost intelligent?"
I hate apes.
"I don't like apes. I think that maybe in millions of years they will be almost human, but not as mentally involved, a lower "caste" of society. Humans will probably use the sub-human used-to-be-apes for slave labor. "
this was scrawled over two pages of my notebook, a message to my roommates of something i could not properly express orally at the time.
It's just inevitable really, once they pass a certain threshhold of intelligence they won't used simply for human amusement and experimentation.. They will be sub-human workers valued for their opposable thumbs. Apes have stronger forearm muscles than we do. I'm sure there is a chance they would overthrow us, or at least have several bloody revolts. At this point humans will have evolved further as well, unless of course, we're de-evolving and the monkeys are really our replacements....
I thought of this theory after spending the afternoon watching nature documentaries about apes, and as I watched them cuddle their children and groom and take part in *almost* if not human behaviors I started to get very afraid...angry at the apes.
Of course, it was that same attitude that would later lead to our systematic enslavement and domination of future apes.
"God guys," I said to my roommates "I wonder what its like to sit around all day and be almost intelligent?"
I hate apes.
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