Good behavior days

For reference: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0217062contract1.html

THAT is an actual contract devised by Travis Frey of Iowa dictating proper behavior for his wife, Ruth Frey, mother of Travis' two children and his wife of nine years.
Travis is accused of kidnapping and assaulting his wife by tying her to their bed with rope at least 3 times. I guess someone wasn't having a Good Behavior Day.
Funny thing is, these weren't the original charges brought against him. Travis turned himself in on charges of downloading child pornography, after which I assume his wife saw her chance and turned over the (unsigned) marriage contract to the cops and told them what happened.

Now, that might sound crazy to you. But as recently as the 1960's (brought to my attention by Erica) home ec classes were teaching little girls that this is how husbands should be ttreated:

A Woman's Guide to Being A Good Wife



1. Have dinner ready:
Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself:
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

3. Clear away the clutter:
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, papers etc. and then run a duster over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

4. Be happy to see him:
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

5. Make the evening his:
Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

6. Make him comfortable:
Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

7. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's.

8. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion.

9. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

10. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's is. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

11. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products.

12. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.



If you ask my grandmother, women aren't supposed to work (at least not after marriage), and the children of single mothers grow up to be drug addicts and criminals. I assume thats why she hired a nanny to take care of my father and his siblings, then shipped them off to boarding school as soon as they were old enough. My grandparents have never said "I love you" to their children either. But I digress.

Now, I'm not an expert here. I failed Home Ec. Apparently staples aren't a substitute for learning to sew. My manager at Bed Bath and Beyond also informed me that I wasn't "domesticated" at which point I informed her that "it was a bitch to housebreak me and I still piss on the rugs". She moved me to customer service and I haven't folded a towel since.


But I've grown up. Sure, I'd still rather sit in my warm laundry than fold it, but I can cook without setting the toaster oven on fire or melting a colander now and I'm fairly certain I know how to please a man without degrading myself. And I have so, so many questions for Mrs. Frey.

At what point did you realise your husband expected certain things from you? Was he different before you tied the knot? or had children? If not, why did you wait so long to tell the police? Maybe being tied up or subservient turns you on a little. That's ok. Did he make you do things in the contract anyway? How much money have you set aside for your children's inevitable therapy?

My only possible explanation is that Travis went crazypants later in the marriage, god knows why. Kind of like the husbands/boyfriends that have an apparently perfect marriage then one day slit their wife's throat, put her body in a freezer then put it through a woodchipper over a river, or skin her, file down her teeth, bury the bones in the back yard and throw her skull in a lake. Or choke their wife to death in front of their mistress, fuck the corpse, fill every orifice with flammable paste and torch her in the backyard. This is my biggest fear, the secret crazy.

Someone needs to teach these guys that divorce is not a dirty word. But Travis, oh Travis, you should have been honest from the get go. It's an amazing magical world we live in. Have you BEEN on the internet? Ah, well, I know you have, but you managed to stumble on the one taboo fetish of the e-world, child pornography. But if you looked...there is a world of fetishes out there, domination, subservience, people who like to dress up as animals and fuck, japanese girls getting raped by tentacles...surely, SURELY, you could have found a woman willing to sign your contract, and then, who am I to judge? I just have your (and her) happiness in mind.

But no, you chose a woman who...albiet, eventually, sold you out to the cops. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be entertaining lots of marriage proposals from desperate white trash ladies just aching to enjoy naked time with you when you get out of jail. I mean, IF you go to jail. Your lawyer seems optimistic.
"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.

Wait. Did you catch that? "I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything..." God, it's a shame Johnnie Cochran died.

Well Travis, I'm disappointed in you. But for my amusement, please agree to have the divorce proceedings on Divorce Court with Judge Mablean Ehpraim. You can join the vast community of baby daddies with "sex calenders", who say "you never know who a childs father is" and who father children with 14 year girls. Winners, all.

In the meantime, I wouldn't worry, I've heard prison inmates are especially kind to wife beaters and child porn enthousiasts.